Cougars, Inc.

“Cougars, Inc” (2010) is a straight-to-Blu-ray release, directly bypassing an official theatrical release.  Well, this might be a good thing. There is no reason to watch this movie except for the inclusion of two popular actors: James Belushi and Denise Richards. Some people might argue about Richards’s acting credentials, but there is no doubt she still has the power to draw audiences. She became famous--of course, for all the wrong reasons--following the cult success of “Wild Things.” And anyone who has ever watched “According to Jim” or early “Saturday Night Live” pretty much knows James Belushi.  The movie was produced with a million-dollar budget, owing to the presence of these two stars. It’s an unusually high budget, considering the film’s quality and that the film was only released for home consumption.

First, we meet Sam (Kyle Gallner), who has been kicked out of every high school in the country. Running short of cash, Sam cannot afford to pay his tuition fees and seems unsettled in a new school headed by Dan (James Belushi). To pay for his tuition, Sam, along with his other friends, comes up with a plan to launch an escort company, Cougars, Inc. Then, we are then introduced to Alison (Kathryn Morris) and Judy (Denise Richards), who along with several other women become part of Cougars, Inc. Their idea of fun is to sleep with young boys so they can reignite their youth. Alison and Judy are bored of their domestic lives, and Cougars, Inc. is their only outlet. Meanwhile, Dan is fighting hard with the school board for Sam’s scholarship. Things don’t go as planned and Sam’s escort service is exposed.

The film tries hard to be a high-school comedy on the lines of “Animal House,” but in the end, it’s an abject failure. To begin with, the film’s plot is extremely artificial. Instead of developing realistic humorous situations, the film banks on vulgar tirades uttered by its characters. At one point, Judy asks a woman in their group to think about her last intercourse, after which she could not walk. Surely, Judy’s persuasiveness in this situation begs a big despairing head shake from a viewer, and things just go downhill from here on. How talking about sexual pain equates to laughter in this scene? Not if this is a black comedy, and even so, the dialogue has to be a lot smarter. Instead, we are left to hear vapid dialogue in the entire movie. As such, this is only one of many scenes that inject a misogynistic tone to the film.

So, what does the movie convey through its female characters? Nothing much. We are forced to feel all women in their 40’s are horny and irresponsible. They are so bored with their mundane lives that sensibility always evades them. Moreover, these women are so foolish and gullible, they are easily persuaded by the seventeen-year olds to join an escort club. After all, the term “escort” is a sophisticated name for prostitute. All of this results in unintelligent characters, with no emotional links for a viewer.

As far as our main protagonist, Sam, is considered, well, I don’t know what to say about his character. Dan fights hard with the board so Sam can get some funding. But, what’s the point? Why is Dan trying so hard? Does he feel Sam is a bright kid? Or he is feeling bad for Sam because he is thrown out from ten schools? We never know the real reason; nor do we see Sam’s exemplary academic skills at display that would warrant a scholarship; after all, you don’t get a scholarship to open an escort agency. Yet, somehow, we are made to believe that scholarships are for losers. Nonetheless, I was astonished at the constant foolishness exhibited by every character in the movie.

The performances don’t add much to the film, either. I don’t think the actors can do much if they are given a clumsy script that features poorly written dialogue. Belushi is merely serviceable in his role, as the script limits his performance. A sexy Richards comes across as a trashy-white female, and all her sexiness evaporates in a flash the moment we see her first glimpse. In the end, Sam questioning the ethical issues surrounding his escort service is the only positive attribute in the entire film. Perhaps his character is the smartest one of the entire lot.

Video:

“Cougars, Inc.” comes to Blu-ray in an aspect ratio of 2.35:1, encoded in an AVC codec. As a film produced for home consumption, “Cougars, Inc.” looks really good in its 1080p transfer. The print is crystal clear, and the colors are deep and vibrant. There are several indoor scenes, and they look perfectly fine, too, with balanced contrast. Blacks are solid and the close-ups are lifelike. The detail is consistent throughout.

Audio:

The lossless 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio track is definitely a good one. The dialogue stays consistently clear and audible, although it is mostly driven by the front channels. The film’s soundtrack activates the rear channels only in a couple of scenes. Overall, I did not find any issues with this track.

Extras:

First, we get an audio commentary track with the crew. They discuss the idea of the film, the characters, retakes, and their favorite scenes in the film. Following this is a short featurette, “Cougars 101.” Here, we see several schoolboys discussing what a cougar is, and whether they prefer a MILF or a cougar; talk about educating schoolboys. We also get a deleted scene, along with a trailer gallery.

Parting Thoughts:

“Cougars, Inc.” gets bogged down with its lifeless humor and messy characters. The entire movie feels cheaply done, and there is nothing emotionally connecting about the story.