Tees Maar Khan

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Starting her career as a choreographer in Bollywood, Farah Khan has received numerous awards for her work in several films (“Monsoon Wedding,” “Marigold,” “Dil Se”). With the support of her brother, Sajid Khan, and the superstar Shah Rukh Khan, she promoted herself to director’s status. She did not disappoint in her new role and eventually directed two big hits with Shah Rukh Khan: “Main Hoo Naa” (2004, “I am here,” in Hindi) and “Om Shanti Om” (2007). Indeed, she is an experienced campaigner and a celebrated name in the Bollywood industry. So, how does her new movie, “Tees Maar Khan” (2010) measure up? Released under heavy marketing, “Tees Maar Khan” is an abject filmmaking exercise.

Akshay Kumar plays the main protagonist, Tabrez Mirza Khan, who pairs up with Katrina Kaif for the sixth time; their previous pair-ups were in the films “Humko Deewana Kar Gaye” (2005,”You Made Me Crazy,” in Hindi ), “Namastey London” (2006), “Welcome” (2007), “Singh Is Kinng” (2008), and “De Dana Dan” (2009). In “Tees Maar Khan,” Khan is a conman who takes a job to rob a train loaded with precious metals and antiques. He is in love with a struggling actress, Anya Khan (Katrina Kaif), and he comes up with a plan to direct a film that will stop the train, and then he deceives an Oscar aspiring superstar, Atish Kapoor (Akshaye Khanna) to act in his film. Finally, he tricks the people of Dhulia village in believing that he is shooting a historical film.

“Tees Maar Khan” almost feels like a sequel to “Om Shanti Om.” In “Om Shanti Om,” we had an aspiring actor, but in “Tees Maar Khan,” we are taken to the world of a fake director. This time around, the spoof of Bollywood falls flat. At least “Om Shanti Om” through its characters created believable scenarios that interconnected with the lives of people in Bollywood. In addition, you can see Farah Khan deliberately inserting the trademark Bollywood moments and its style that were entertaining and relatable. Having said this, “Om Shanti Om” and “Tees Maar Khan” are in fact films with a film, the only common attribute both the films share.

On the other hand, “Tees Maar Khan” forces its way in and mishmashes everything. I don’t know if the film is a homage to Bollywood or to its flamboyant con artist. More so, the incidental director, Tabrez Mirza Khan, is a metaphor for examining the stature of several Bollywood directors for their filmmaking qualities. However, instead of creating a parody, Tabrez Khan’s film ends up questioning Farah Khan’s skills as a director. After all, both movies share the same deficiencies: no script, poor dialogue, and uninteresting characters. You can almost feel this when Atish Kapoor shouts at the top of his lungs to Tabrez Khan: “What do I have to do in this movie?”

Apart from directing the movie, Farah Khan also choreographed the songs in “Tees Mar Khan.” There are only three dance numbers, with the first dance sequence providing a catchy tune. The movie’s soundtrack and dance numbers are disappointing and lack the catchiness that made the soundtracks of “Main Hoo Naa” and “Om Shanti Om” huge successes. Even though the songs are beautifully choreographed, the lyrics are simply below average with nothing worth remembering.

Coupled with poor and unintelligent dialogue, “Tees Maar Khan” in the comedy department is horrendous. Instead of banking on realistic situational humor, the film takes a shortcut with its obnoxious, over-the-top characters. The humor is poorly developed and hardly generates a laugh. I was outraged with one sequence in which Tabrez Khan required an English character for his movie. It’s a dismal comedy segment that ridicules the sufferers of skin disorder. Nonetheless, I just ended up shaking my head in disgust at seeing how the filmmakers deliberately injected hollow and vapid humor into the movie, especially during the second half.

There is hardly anything notable about the performances. Akshay Kumar’s on-screen persona is narcissistic, and I blame the writers for employing style over substance and for over blowing his cool-dude image. Despite Kumar’s best effort to make us fall in love with his character, I almost felt strangulated by his cartoonish character. His lifeless, unemotional on-screen chemistry with Kaif is just another dysfunctional aspect in the film. I appreciated Kumar’s performances in “Namastey London” and “Singh is Kinng,” but I cannot tolerate him after seeing his exhibition in “Tees Maar Khan.”

In a nutshell, “Tees Maar Khan” is a big disappointment that fails to live up to its prerelease hype. After seeing this movie, you are surely going to question the intelligence factor of the filmmakers and actors involved in this project.

Note: The movie is released in the U.S. with English subtitles.

Film Rating = 4/10

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